About

I am fundraising on behalf of Heads Above The Waves – CIC number 9534155. I will be glittering up my beard for the festive period in work and the baubles and lights are sure to make an appearance......... The last few years have been the toughest of my life, with grief, depression, anxiety and loneliness all taking their toll on my mental health. Despite this, I somehow feel a fraud to be writing this. I don't really know why. Perhaps because I know friends who are fighting daily against their own mind........... I've always considered myself to be quite strong mentally so it came as a real surprise for me to find myself entertaining thoughts that I never thought I would, to feel so alone that I wanted the darkness to swallow me up. One of the most difficult things to do is to battle your own mind, to pick yourself up out of a dark place and see some kind of light.............. The last few months in particular have been very difficult, and I've been at my lowest point. I've found myself in unfamiliar surroundings and contemplating self-harm......... As I sit here now and try to rationalize those thoughts I find myself struggling to do so. I am finding it arduous to explain clearly how I felt and what I wanted to do, but at the same time I know those thoughts were real and I could have easily acted on them. I feel deeply embarrassed and ashamed to admit that I have felt this way, but I also know that I should not feel embarrassed........... I was anxious writing about this and I've considered scrapping the whole thing on several occasions and just hiding away. I don't want people to know but at the same time I do. But I'm glad I've put finger to keyboard and opened up. (Coincidentally, this is one of the coping techniques suggested, writing down thoughts etc)........... This is why the positive efforts of people like Si and Hannah at Heads Above The Waves are so vital for everyone struggling with their mental health and self-harm, especially young people. Their open and honest approach to the issue helps to highlight the positive manner in which we can all approach mental health, whether it be our own or that of someone close to us who is struggling.